I'm going to take a risk today. That's good right? But I'm scared. I'm scared of losing something I don't have yet. It's weird but its true. Let me explain. There's this job opportunity that has opened up. It's a fabulous company and the job profile is fantastic. It's something I've been looking for all these years and I have the right skills for it. It's something that I feel will make me happy. The problem is that the company is not in India. If I get the job, they have to sponsor me. That puts me under their "Reject him, he's alien" stamp. Think about it. Why would a company sponsor an international candidate if they find someone in their own country to do the job? It's lesser effort right ? But I will still not give up!! (Because.... whatever!!, I have to try). Well, I was told to wait until a phone screening was setup (if that ever happens). I had to send out a convincing reply. "I must have that job", I told myself. So, I started out with the same "Hi ____, I appreciate __________, I understand, Best Regards etc etc" but half way through it I felt it wasn't convincing enough. So I decided to strip my reply of all the fancy words and formalities. The casual, friendly reply that I now had in front of me was much easier to write and I felt it was more honest. But now I didn't know which one to send. I knew the one I wanted to send (the casual reply, why ? because I'm an ass) but was that how it was supposed to be done?
I still haven't decided. I have to send it tonight. I've emailed both the replies to a few close friends of mine for their advice. I know what they're going to say. "Never send an informal email" , "OMG!! Are u mad?", "You won't get the job, its a big risk, You're being a fool!". To be honest, one of them has already replied with a similar statement. But I ask you. How do I risk losing something I don't have yet ? What do I have to lose? I feel that my reply will be a little different from the hundreds and thousands of applications they receive everyday. Maybe that, gets me past the problem of the visa? Who knows? Maybe it gets me closer to a phone interview ?
Well, even if it does not. Even if they hate it, at least they'll laugh about it, talk about me over coffee for a day, maybe even remember me as "The Guy Who Sent the Weird Reply" for years to come. At least I'll be famous :D :D. (Sigh!) I know I'm going to send the casual one. I like that. I should stop hassling my friends over it. I should just send it. Should I ? Shouldn't I? Should I ? Shouldn't I? Aaaaaaaarggghhhhhh!!
You know there's a fair chance that the recruiter reads this blog. I've advertised it like a fool :P. Well, if you do. Don't blacklist me from your company.
I'm just trying to be me and this is just my life... :)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Bizarre Dream
DISCLAIMER : What you are about to read is a creation of my sub-conscious mind. I can associate the occurrence of certain events to my "awake" life but you may not make any sense of it.
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SCENE 1
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I went to my cousins house in mumbai (the cousin I dont really know) to hang out with him one afternoon. I went from Delhi btw. We spent the day talking and in the evening he asked me if I'd like to hang out on the terrace. I agreed and we went up with a couple of beers. On the terrace I saw a charpai (a bed) and his mom/sister was sleeping there. His younger brother (he has none) was sitting next to her. Both of them asked if they should go down and leave us alone in case we wanted to talk but my cousin said it was okay. So we spoke for a bit and then I decided to get going because it was pretty late at night. He dropped me off at the metro station. I went to one of the counters (and i distinctly rememeber it wasn't with the others) and I asked for 1 ticket to Delhi. I was concerned about reaching home from the Dwarka metro station (the closest one to my house in Delhi) so I told the lady behind the counter to wait while I checked with a cab service if they'd send me a cab at Dwarka. The cab service asked me the time and I looked at my watch. It was 2Am, so I told them by 4am. (Yes, I know.. I can't figure this one out too). I put the cab service on hold and asked the woman behind the counter if I'd reach by 4am. She stared at me and said, "Sir, but its only 10:30pm". I looked at my watch, it was 2am. What the hell was this woman saying ? It was then that I remembered that Mumbai & Delhi had a time difference of about 6 hours. (Don't ask me!). Anyway, I hung up on the cab service and asked the woman to give me a ticket. I decided i'd figure out a way to reach home once I reach Delhi. I yelled at her about the time difference and created a big scene. Then out of nowhere this man came inside the metro station from the right (I remember the directions very clearly) and he started helping me sort things out. We exited the station together.
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SCENE 2
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I was standing in the train and next to me was this guy who had helped me earlier. We got into a conversation about the time difference and we came to the conclusion that the woman at the counter had not given me a "Rajdhani" ticket, which I usually travelled by.
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SCENE 3
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I got off the train onto a platform with this chap. We wanted to find that woman and ask her why she'd given me the wrong ticket. We started walking towards the ticket coutner (and I remember we were on the right platform. As we walked ahead I took notice of a banner which read "Maximum losses in 1 day, Rs 7.54" and a woman underneath it pointing at it. We could hear a few girls laughing behind us and when I turned around to see, I saw the colleagues of the "counter woman". We stopped them and told them what had happened. I asked them where the "counter woman" was and they pointed towards the metro station. We started walking towards it but saw something shocking on the left. There was a row of people involved in the following activity - 1 coolie stood in a bow and was handing over some money to another person (maybe a superior). It was like hafta vasooli (tax payments), and there were almost 10 coolies doing this.
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SCENE 4
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We were returning after complaining about the "counter woman" and were now on the left platform. Slowly approching in view was the "hafta vasooli" sight. While we were walking, this coolie passed us by and stopped a little ahead. He was very old, had broken teeth and was bowing over to give money to his boss. The boss looked at me and smiled reassuring me that my complaint had been taken care of. The coolie gave him Rs 1500 (I dont know why I remember this amount). I felt miserable that the coolie had to suffer because of my compaint.
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SCENE 5
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My friend was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere and then turned back towards the metro station. ( I am using metro station and ticket counter interchangeably but they mean the same thing. Just think of it like a metro station built on a railway platform inside a railway station) Anyway, I went under a staircase towards the right platform and found him sitting hiding his face on a bench underneath it. I sat down too and I cried. I was feeling bad for the old man. After a while, I got up, put my spectacles back on and said , "Let's go, we're very late".
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SCENE 6
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I'm walking up a spiral staircase with this friend of mine. We're going to visit someone who lives on the top floor. I don't remember who he was but I remember being tensed. We rang a bell and this tall man opens the door. He has a cordless phone on one ear. He's talking with somebody. We walk in and he signals us to go inside and get something. We were there to pick up something. (I don't remember what!).
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SCENE 7
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The man we went to see is dead. I don't know how. We are climbing the spiral staircase again. I don't know why. I remember being scared and excited at the same time. We reach the top floor. I don't remember if the door was open or we had the keys but we managed to get in. The man was lying on the bed. (His bed was in the kitchen or in the drawing room). My friend started teasing the corpse, making weird gestures and making fun of the dead man. I told him we should leave and we walked out. Just as he was closing the door, I saw a hard drive sortta a device that I wanted. It was kept on the edge of his sofa. The sofa was the first thing on the LEFT(I remember sides so vividly). I went up to pick the hard drive up. Next to it I saw the cordless phone and I wanted that too. I remember wanting it just because I didn't have a cordless phone. But I didn't take it. We started climbing down the staircase and I noticed there were cameras all around. "Don't look up immediately, but there are cameras all around", I whispered to my friend. He noticed them too. "They will soon know he's dead and they will track us down because of these cameras, we must find an excuse soon". But there was a problem, my friend was going to go back to his hometown. I remember being tense about the fact that all modes of communication between us might be monitored and that we were going to be summoned by law soon. (Which is funny because I dont remember being involved in the murder).
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SCENE 8
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A funny courtroom. A big window overlooking something green. A big banner in front of the window. (Don't remember wat it read). A podium (place behind which people stand and give a speech). The "Counter woman" standing behind the podium pointing a finger at us (my friend and I) standing at the opposite end of the room yelling, "They did it". She was the deceased's sister.
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JUST BEFORE I WOKE UP
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The man that was dead, was already dead for the world before he actually died.
The man was ________________ ( A participant from Big Boss). I'm not writing the name here because I don't want to get into trouble in case GOD FORBID something happens to that person and then people find this blog entry, and hold me responsible.
Funny Dream, Strange that I remember it, I don't remember most of my other dreams but I do remember this one, the sides (left, right) are crystal clear. The dream is stuck in my head. What did I do ? How did my mind make it up ? I have no freakin clue...
But that's just my "sub-conscious" life ..... !!
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SCENE 1
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I went to my cousins house in mumbai (the cousin I dont really know) to hang out with him one afternoon. I went from Delhi btw. We spent the day talking and in the evening he asked me if I'd like to hang out on the terrace. I agreed and we went up with a couple of beers. On the terrace I saw a charpai (a bed) and his mom/sister was sleeping there. His younger brother (he has none) was sitting next to her. Both of them asked if they should go down and leave us alone in case we wanted to talk but my cousin said it was okay. So we spoke for a bit and then I decided to get going because it was pretty late at night. He dropped me off at the metro station. I went to one of the counters (and i distinctly rememeber it wasn't with the others) and I asked for 1 ticket to Delhi. I was concerned about reaching home from the Dwarka metro station (the closest one to my house in Delhi) so I told the lady behind the counter to wait while I checked with a cab service if they'd send me a cab at Dwarka. The cab service asked me the time and I looked at my watch. It was 2Am, so I told them by 4am. (Yes, I know.. I can't figure this one out too). I put the cab service on hold and asked the woman behind the counter if I'd reach by 4am. She stared at me and said, "Sir, but its only 10:30pm". I looked at my watch, it was 2am. What the hell was this woman saying ? It was then that I remembered that Mumbai & Delhi had a time difference of about 6 hours. (Don't ask me!). Anyway, I hung up on the cab service and asked the woman to give me a ticket. I decided i'd figure out a way to reach home once I reach Delhi. I yelled at her about the time difference and created a big scene. Then out of nowhere this man came inside the metro station from the right (I remember the directions very clearly) and he started helping me sort things out. We exited the station together.
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SCENE 2
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I was standing in the train and next to me was this guy who had helped me earlier. We got into a conversation about the time difference and we came to the conclusion that the woman at the counter had not given me a "Rajdhani" ticket, which I usually travelled by.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 3
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I got off the train onto a platform with this chap. We wanted to find that woman and ask her why she'd given me the wrong ticket. We started walking towards the ticket coutner (and I remember we were on the right platform. As we walked ahead I took notice of a banner which read "Maximum losses in 1 day, Rs 7.54" and a woman underneath it pointing at it. We could hear a few girls laughing behind us and when I turned around to see, I saw the colleagues of the "counter woman". We stopped them and told them what had happened. I asked them where the "counter woman" was and they pointed towards the metro station. We started walking towards it but saw something shocking on the left. There was a row of people involved in the following activity - 1 coolie stood in a bow and was handing over some money to another person (maybe a superior). It was like hafta vasooli (tax payments), and there were almost 10 coolies doing this.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 4
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We were returning after complaining about the "counter woman" and were now on the left platform. Slowly approching in view was the "hafta vasooli" sight. While we were walking, this coolie passed us by and stopped a little ahead. He was very old, had broken teeth and was bowing over to give money to his boss. The boss looked at me and smiled reassuring me that my complaint had been taken care of. The coolie gave him Rs 1500 (I dont know why I remember this amount). I felt miserable that the coolie had to suffer because of my compaint.
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SCENE 5
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My friend was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere and then turned back towards the metro station. ( I am using metro station and ticket counter interchangeably but they mean the same thing. Just think of it like a metro station built on a railway platform inside a railway station) Anyway, I went under a staircase towards the right platform and found him sitting hiding his face on a bench underneath it. I sat down too and I cried. I was feeling bad for the old man. After a while, I got up, put my spectacles back on and said , "Let's go, we're very late".
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SCENE 6
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I'm walking up a spiral staircase with this friend of mine. We're going to visit someone who lives on the top floor. I don't remember who he was but I remember being tensed. We rang a bell and this tall man opens the door. He has a cordless phone on one ear. He's talking with somebody. We walk in and he signals us to go inside and get something. We were there to pick up something. (I don't remember what!).
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SCENE 7
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The man we went to see is dead. I don't know how. We are climbing the spiral staircase again. I don't know why. I remember being scared and excited at the same time. We reach the top floor. I don't remember if the door was open or we had the keys but we managed to get in. The man was lying on the bed. (His bed was in the kitchen or in the drawing room). My friend started teasing the corpse, making weird gestures and making fun of the dead man. I told him we should leave and we walked out. Just as he was closing the door, I saw a hard drive sortta a device that I wanted. It was kept on the edge of his sofa. The sofa was the first thing on the LEFT(I remember sides so vividly). I went up to pick the hard drive up. Next to it I saw the cordless phone and I wanted that too. I remember wanting it just because I didn't have a cordless phone. But I didn't take it. We started climbing down the staircase and I noticed there were cameras all around. "Don't look up immediately, but there are cameras all around", I whispered to my friend. He noticed them too. "They will soon know he's dead and they will track us down because of these cameras, we must find an excuse soon". But there was a problem, my friend was going to go back to his hometown. I remember being tense about the fact that all modes of communication between us might be monitored and that we were going to be summoned by law soon. (Which is funny because I dont remember being involved in the murder).
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SCENE 8
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A funny courtroom. A big window overlooking something green. A big banner in front of the window. (Don't remember wat it read). A podium (place behind which people stand and give a speech). The "Counter woman" standing behind the podium pointing a finger at us (my friend and I) standing at the opposite end of the room yelling, "They did it". She was the deceased's sister.
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JUST BEFORE I WOKE UP
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The man that was dead, was already dead for the world before he actually died.
The man was ________________ ( A participant from Big Boss). I'm not writing the name here because I don't want to get into trouble in case GOD FORBID something happens to that person and then people find this blog entry, and hold me responsible.
Funny Dream, Strange that I remember it, I don't remember most of my other dreams but I do remember this one, the sides (left, right) are crystal clear. The dream is stuck in my head. What did I do ? How did my mind make it up ? I have no freakin clue...
But that's just my "sub-conscious" life ..... !!
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Next Government Office
I had applied for a telephone connection at my apartment because my roommate was too lazy to work towards getting the internet connection. Being the internet bug that I am, it wasn't possible to live with the idea of not having 24/7 access to the internet. I first approached Reliance broadband. Their fellows even visited my flat with a humongous square wireless dish. But who would've known the descendent's of Mr. Ambani would not be able to get a signal on the 14th floor because their broadcast towers are too low. So, the only alternative I now had was MTNL because the idiots in my building , for some reason won't allow Hathway connections or any other ISP for that matter that puts up wires. :|
My adventure with MTNL began with my application for a fixed land line which is a prerequisite to avail of TriBand (their broadband service). While filling out the form I made it a point to mention to the lady across the table that they should contact me on my cell phone before installing the MTNL line. She noted my mobile number and gave me a strange unformatted dot matrix printed receipt for the service amount of Rs. 500/- that they charged. I asked her how long it'd take and she assured me that I would get the connection within the week. I asked her how soon I could get the internet connection. She said it would take another week after I submit the TriBand form (a separate application form) and the deposit for the modem. I thanked her and walked out.
Days went by, then weeks went by and I got quite busy with work to think about the internet connection. After I resigned (Wooohoooo!!) I realized that I wouldn't need the phone connection anymore and decided to return the MTNL office to get a refund. This is where things got exciting. So there I was , one morning, unshaved, unkempt standing next to the Charkop bus stand about to relive something similar to the Passport office (see old posts). I went in to find the lady who had helped me last time but couldn't. Apparently, the other day she was filling in for the one who was actually in charge of new connections. I managed to find the lady in charge and I filled her in about my problem. I told her I would appreciate if I could get a refund as the connection hadn't yet been installed. She looked into her software, looked at me and looked back at her screen. Then slowly she looked at me again and said, "But the connection has already been given, your number is XXXXXXXX". I was so dumbstruck that I couldn't stop staring at her face for 10 seconds. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about ?. I asked her, "Can you confirm the address please". She read out my address. I informed her that I wasn't aware of any connection that had been installed at my place and I never got any call from MTNL telling me that they were coming to install the phone. She shook her head twice and said "Please meet Trivedi at the Sector 9 office. They handle all the connections". I knew arguing with her would be pointless. I took directions to the "other" MTNL office and set out to meet Mr. Trivedi. (the incharge!).
Trivedi was sitting with 2 random people doing some random stuff with random registers. I took a seat on a sofa placed on the left side of a typical government office cabin. It took a while for the random things to conclude and finally I was summoned by his highness Trivedi. I explained my problem again and told him I had not received any phone call regarding the connection. "We couldn't call you, you were not home" replied Trivedi. I tried keeping my cool and told him "I HAD LEFT MY MOBILE NUMBER. I DONT HAVE TO BE HOME TO RECEIVE CALLS ON IT. THAT'S WHY I HAVE A MOBILE. THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A MOBILE. I CAN BE LOCOMOTIVE AND STILL RECEIVE CALLS. MOREOVER I CAN'T RECEIVE ANY CALLS ON THE NON EXISTENT NUMBER YOU HAVE BEEN OR HOPING TO CALL ME AT, BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER INSTALLED .... MORON!!" , well in a more sophisticated tone of course. He double checked his logs and said "Well, they didn't send the mobile number with the work order". "Who didn't send what ?", I asked. I honestly didn't know what he was talking about. After a few more questions I figured out that he was trying to pass the buck back to the first office. So I yelled!!! what else was I supposed to do ? I lost it. I told him that I didn't care about the work order. I had left my mobile number and I should've gotten a call. I told him I needed to cancel the connection and the lady in the first office had told me that I needed a letter from him to do so. He heard me unwillingly and finally decided that he wasn't in a position to take a decision. So he presented me to his Boss. I had to narrate my story again.... I was quite sick of it by now. The boss seemed exceptionally cool about the whole situation and told Trivedi to ask me to go back to the first office and fill up a surrender form. I interrupted and asked what was I supposed to surrender when I hadn't received anything to surrender. I guess they soon realized that I wasn't new to being bounced around government office departments and finally after an hour of painful explanation Trivedi wrote me the cancellation letter. I took the letter back to the first office and presented it to the lady who had asked for it. She wasn't expecting me so soon. She told me to submit it at Counter #1. So I went to counter #1. It was unattended. Oh! what a surprise. Fortunately, the lady (YEAH!!, Lot of women working at MTNL) at counter 1 wasn't long. I told her why I was there and how I was told to get the cancellation letter. She yelled out to the first lady and asked her what the hell was going on. They exchanged a few words and I was directed to go into the managers office. The manager or whoever he was , was quite a jackass. I sung out my woes to him and he very casually said "It's not our problem, we only send out work orders. I have your number in the system. I don't know why Trivedi didn't call you.". I explained t0 him that for me "MTNL" was one body. I didn't care and wasn't concerned with miscommunication between their departments. He was quite stuck up and began enlightening me with the structure of MTNL and how they had a million different departments and that one department could not take responsibility for a screw up that any other department did. I had had enough. I stood up and yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT". The neighbours took notice (my intention :P ) and a few MTNL officials poured in (just what I needed, more stuck up idiots). I created a huge scene till they finally agreed to cancel my phone line. But the ass that I am I wanted more ( !! ). I told them I wanted my cheque at my Delhi address. Of course they weren't going to agree on that. So after a few more allegations, shouts and scenes they requested me to give in a written application. I drafted a quick one , attached it to my receipt copies, the cancellation letter copy and handed it to the lady at counter #1. I told her I'd like an acknowledgment. She browsed through my application and asked me to get a photocopy/xerox. Now, they didn't have a bloody copier in the office and it was almost lunch time (Government office lunches are never ending!). I told her to wait for me before going to lunch and returned with the copy within 10 minutes. At last I got the acknowledgment and finally got out.
The mention of lunch made me hungry and I remembered a chaat shop close by. I ate a sandwich, some dahi puri and washed it down with coconut water. I was refueled and all set to face the NEXT GOVERNMENT OFFICE.
But that's just my life....
My adventure with MTNL began with my application for a fixed land line which is a prerequisite to avail of TriBand (their broadband service). While filling out the form I made it a point to mention to the lady across the table that they should contact me on my cell phone before installing the MTNL line. She noted my mobile number and gave me a strange unformatted dot matrix printed receipt for the service amount of Rs. 500/- that they charged. I asked her how long it'd take and she assured me that I would get the connection within the week. I asked her how soon I could get the internet connection. She said it would take another week after I submit the TriBand form (a separate application form) and the deposit for the modem. I thanked her and walked out.
Days went by, then weeks went by and I got quite busy with work to think about the internet connection. After I resigned (Wooohoooo!!) I realized that I wouldn't need the phone connection anymore and decided to return the MTNL office to get a refund. This is where things got exciting. So there I was , one morning, unshaved, unkempt standing next to the Charkop bus stand about to relive something similar to the Passport office (see old posts). I went in to find the lady who had helped me last time but couldn't. Apparently, the other day she was filling in for the one who was actually in charge of new connections. I managed to find the lady in charge and I filled her in about my problem. I told her I would appreciate if I could get a refund as the connection hadn't yet been installed. She looked into her software, looked at me and looked back at her screen. Then slowly she looked at me again and said, "But the connection has already been given, your number is XXXXXXXX". I was so dumbstruck that I couldn't stop staring at her face for 10 seconds. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about ?. I asked her, "Can you confirm the address please". She read out my address. I informed her that I wasn't aware of any connection that had been installed at my place and I never got any call from MTNL telling me that they were coming to install the phone. She shook her head twice and said "Please meet Trivedi at the Sector 9 office. They handle all the connections". I knew arguing with her would be pointless. I took directions to the "other" MTNL office and set out to meet Mr. Trivedi. (the incharge!).
Trivedi was sitting with 2 random people doing some random stuff with random registers. I took a seat on a sofa placed on the left side of a typical government office cabin. It took a while for the random things to conclude and finally I was summoned by his highness Trivedi. I explained my problem again and told him I had not received any phone call regarding the connection. "We couldn't call you, you were not home" replied Trivedi. I tried keeping my cool and told him "I HAD LEFT MY MOBILE NUMBER. I DONT HAVE TO BE HOME TO RECEIVE CALLS ON IT. THAT'S WHY I HAVE A MOBILE. THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A MOBILE. I CAN BE LOCOMOTIVE AND STILL RECEIVE CALLS. MOREOVER I CAN'T RECEIVE ANY CALLS ON THE NON EXISTENT NUMBER YOU HAVE BEEN OR HOPING TO CALL ME AT, BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER INSTALLED .... MORON!!" , well in a more sophisticated tone of course. He double checked his logs and said "Well, they didn't send the mobile number with the work order". "Who didn't send what ?", I asked. I honestly didn't know what he was talking about. After a few more questions I figured out that he was trying to pass the buck back to the first office. So I yelled!!! what else was I supposed to do ? I lost it. I told him that I didn't care about the work order. I had left my mobile number and I should've gotten a call. I told him I needed to cancel the connection and the lady in the first office had told me that I needed a letter from him to do so. He heard me unwillingly and finally decided that he wasn't in a position to take a decision. So he presented me to his Boss. I had to narrate my story again.... I was quite sick of it by now. The boss seemed exceptionally cool about the whole situation and told Trivedi to ask me to go back to the first office and fill up a surrender form. I interrupted and asked what was I supposed to surrender when I hadn't received anything to surrender. I guess they soon realized that I wasn't new to being bounced around government office departments and finally after an hour of painful explanation Trivedi wrote me the cancellation letter. I took the letter back to the first office and presented it to the lady who had asked for it. She wasn't expecting me so soon. She told me to submit it at Counter #1. So I went to counter #1. It was unattended. Oh! what a surprise. Fortunately, the lady (YEAH!!, Lot of women working at MTNL) at counter 1 wasn't long. I told her why I was there and how I was told to get the cancellation letter. She yelled out to the first lady and asked her what the hell was going on. They exchanged a few words and I was directed to go into the managers office. The manager or whoever he was , was quite a jackass. I sung out my woes to him and he very casually said "It's not our problem, we only send out work orders. I have your number in the system. I don't know why Trivedi didn't call you.". I explained t0 him that for me "MTNL" was one body. I didn't care and wasn't concerned with miscommunication between their departments. He was quite stuck up and began enlightening me with the structure of MTNL and how they had a million different departments and that one department could not take responsibility for a screw up that any other department did. I had had enough. I stood up and yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT". The neighbours took notice (my intention :P ) and a few MTNL officials poured in (just what I needed, more stuck up idiots). I created a huge scene till they finally agreed to cancel my phone line. But the ass that I am I wanted more ( !! ). I told them I wanted my cheque at my Delhi address. Of course they weren't going to agree on that. So after a few more allegations, shouts and scenes they requested me to give in a written application. I drafted a quick one , attached it to my receipt copies, the cancellation letter copy and handed it to the lady at counter #1. I told her I'd like an acknowledgment. She browsed through my application and asked me to get a photocopy/xerox. Now, they didn't have a bloody copier in the office and it was almost lunch time (Government office lunches are never ending!). I told her to wait for me before going to lunch and returned with the copy within 10 minutes. At last I got the acknowledgment and finally got out.
The mention of lunch made me hungry and I remembered a chaat shop close by. I ate a sandwich, some dahi puri and washed it down with coconut water. I was refueled and all set to face the NEXT GOVERNMENT OFFICE.
But that's just my life....
Monday, September 21, 2009
The best smiley in the world.
Whoever invented the smiley - :) is a sucker. Poor fellow doesn't get enough credit for his amazing discovery. Evolution changes everything. The smiley as we knew it has disseminated into these irritating off springs. I mean seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS 0_o .
My favorite smiley is :-P. I love it. It reminds me of myself. Sometimes I add a nose, sometimes I don't. Depends on my mood. But it's quite a versatile smiley. It actually gives you a benefit of doubt. That's how amazing it is. For example, if you're chatting with a hot girl and you want to get a little flirtatious with her but you take it a little too far, and you feel that she's going to take offense, fear not. Just add a :-P and all of it turns into a big joke.
But the smiley is pretty useless with people who don't know how to use it well. I mean you can't just shove it anywhere you like. Problem is I think most folks don't know what the smiley represents. So here goes. :-P, I'm going to break it down. : = eyes , - = nose, P= tongue. In short, it's just a character showing his/her tongue :P.
:P :-P :-P
I need to find some interesting topics to write about...
My favorite smiley is :-P. I love it. It reminds me of myself. Sometimes I add a nose, sometimes I don't. Depends on my mood. But it's quite a versatile smiley. It actually gives you a benefit of doubt. That's how amazing it is. For example, if you're chatting with a hot girl and you want to get a little flirtatious with her but you take it a little too far, and you feel that she's going to take offense, fear not. Just add a :-P and all of it turns into a big joke.
But the smiley is pretty useless with people who don't know how to use it well. I mean you can't just shove it anywhere you like. Problem is I think most folks don't know what the smiley represents. So here goes. :-P, I'm going to break it down. : = eyes , - = nose, P= tongue. In short, it's just a character showing his/her tongue :P.
:P :-P :-P
I need to find some interesting topics to write about...
Everybody loves the "F" word.
(He he he he !!), What the auck are you laughing at, you bucking retard. :-P. Sounds amazing doesn't it ? I love using the F word. I'm sure you do too because if you don't then you're just a dumb cuck. I don't think it's regarded as a curse word anymore. Everyone uses it, it sounds funny and hilarious and I don't see any reason for people to get offended if I yell out, DUCK! U!. Even god got replaced with the F word. I remember times when people exclaimed "Oh God!". I also remember the time when they changed it to "Oh Euck!". As of the current century we've decided to get rid of the "Oh" and people just tend to go "Guck!!!!!!!" when something Hucks up. It saves time I guess. I don't know man, I don't really Iucking care. I'm stuck in my bloody office and it's almost 1 am. My Sunday got ruined and I'm so Jucking pissed off , it's not even a joke. So, I'm just writing random blog entries. KUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! you bloody Luckers, let me go home.....
Anyway, my point was the F word is amazing. Do you know why ?? huh?? huh?? huh ?? It's simple. I've gone through half the alphabets using random Mucking letters but it just doesn't feel right. That's because the F word is NUCKING SUPERB!!!
NOTE : This blog entry is a result of absolute frustration and a high degree of boredom.
Go to hell...
Love
Oucker.
Anyway, my point was the F word is amazing. Do you know why ?? huh?? huh?? huh ?? It's simple. I've gone through half the alphabets using random Mucking letters but it just doesn't feel right. That's because the F word is NUCKING SUPERB!!!
NOTE : This blog entry is a result of absolute frustration and a high degree of boredom.
Go to hell...
Love
Oucker.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Flying Fish
After 2 years of being vegetarian I finally succumbed to a nice bbq'd juicy succulent marinated chicken leg and ever since there's been no looking back. I feel bad and think about going back to vegetarianism but as of now I'm kinda ignoring my conscience. Anyway, last night I had a dream about a fish. A Pomfret to be precise. (It's a diamond shaped fish). The strange thing about the dream was that I wasn't eating the fish. I had apparently managed to tie a knot around the fish's tail and I was flying it like a kite. Why ?? I have no idea.. But it was quite hilarious when I thought about it in the morning.
I wonder what's next.
Phew!
I wonder what's next.
Phew!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Search...
I search,
Like I have always,
to find myself, to find my purpose,
To know what I am meant to do,
and figure how to do it.
I'm sure it's something great,
I just don't know what yet
and until I know I can't do much
except
just search...
Like I have always,
to find myself, to find my purpose,
To know what I am meant to do,
and figure how to do it.
I'm sure it's something great,
I just don't know what yet
and until I know I can't do much
except
just search...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Beat of another kind
Last week I got frustrated with my life, work and everything. I felt horrible, bored, confused and irritated. The weekend came and I was sitting at home with these feelings bottled up inside me. I had to get out of the house so I asked an old friend to meet up. She was nice enough to oblige and off I went to see her. We had a great time, she introduced me to a few of her friends. It was a pleasant evening full of laughter, fun, food and chit chat. I was glad I got out of home. We all dined at a nice restaurant and talked of life, careers etc. It was getting late and I had to catch the last train so I hurried my bye bye's and took a rickshaw to the nearest railway station. Luckily, I was in time to catch the last local train to Kandivali (that's where I stay). The station at night was quite nice. No rush, no screaming and there was this eerie silence that I wasn't used to. It was nice. My train was 5 minutes late but it came for sure. I boarded the usual 2nd class coach and rushed to take the spot next to the door. I didn't have to, considering there weren't many folks competing to get that spot that time of the night. But I guess one becomes so used to fighting for a spot in the local trains that it just becomes sort of a reflex. The train embarked lazily on its final journey for the day. I stood at the door watching the city go by in a blur. The wind blew across my face as I struggled to stay awake. I love taking the train at night. The city looks very different through sleepy eyes. Tired shadows try hard to transform into something meaningful and just end up failing miserably. I was enjoying my ride, thinking about the nice evening I had had , thinking about how amazing it would be if I could just travel and meet new people, taste food from all over the world, become a food critic. That would be the perfect thing. I was imagining myself in new places, close to nature. With my eyes closed and the wind hitting my face it felt somewhat real. For a moment I thought I heard someone singing but I ignored it owing it to my imagination. It was not until the beating started that I pulled my head away from the door and looked inside. There was this boy about 12-13 years of age. He was bare from the waist above and he was singing. He was using the sides of his stomach as an accompaniment. Repeatedly he slapped it trying to keep up with his song. I don't know if it was the pain that made him cry at the end or was it just all a facade but I was moved. I went over to hand him some money. He didn't acknowledge my presence and I actually had to shake him to bring him back to reality. The right side of his stomach was bruised, his constant slapping had tattooed his finger marks on his body. The boy covered his eyes and began crying after his song was over. He struggled on his feet and walked over to the people in the train to beg for money. Everyone seemed almost as shocked as I was. I hoped he got enough to get a meal, a shirt, an instrument maybe. Here I was complaining about my life, feeling frustrated over not being satisfied and there in front of me was this boy who couldn't even get the privilege to complain. It's been about a week since this happened but even now as I write about it, I cry within for his misery. I looked the other way when it got unbearable and saw my station approaching. I hurried off the train hoping to leave behind what I had seen. I took the western exit and saw a few eunuchs dressed in saari's calling out to prospective clients passing by. I dropped my head low and quickly got into a rickshaw.
"Charkop" , I said and started back towards my almost sea facing home on the 14th floor.
And that's just my "Uncomfortable" life that I complain of. Sigh! :(
"Charkop" , I said and started back towards my almost sea facing home on the 14th floor.
And that's just my "Uncomfortable" life that I complain of. Sigh! :(
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Hair cutting, doing nothing , pum! pum!
It's been quite a while since I blogged. In fact I've been keeping a mental note of a few things that I want to write about but for some reason I just don't get down to it. Today, I felt like writing but not about the stuff I've been thinking about. I just wanted to randomly write and that's exactly what I'm doing.
So, the weekend was pretty good. A friend came over on Sunday and we sang and practiced a few nice songs for the band. The day went by singing and I woke up to face the dawn of Monday. Of course my alarm didn't go off as usual. But I have a fail safe now. My maid comes at 7:30am daily and the Ding Dong! wakes me. The Ding Dong is the bell btw. Oh but wait, my maid was on a leave so she didn't wake me up. I wonder how I got up :S . Well, I did, which was good and so somehow I managed to get to office. The roads were all mukcy. The rains in Mumbai arn't that bad. It's the muck on the road that gets to you. I HATE it when the bottom of my jeans get dirty. I was wearing floaters (don't know what posessed me) so I was quite mucked up. I reached office, logged in, stepped out to eat breakfeast, came back, sat, got up, stepped out to pee, drank water, came back, sat again and waited for others to come. People step in and out whenever they want to. And at about 9am there's hardly anyone from the management present so one can get away with it. Before 9am it's even better. The office is absolutely empty. Around 7am a lost soul will enter rubbing his/her eyes, yawning like there's no tomorrow. Other's arrive following a similar pattern. It seems like the office wakes up too, tossing and turning, cursing under its breath as the chit chat grows.
My shift timings now are 9am - 6pm. So I reach by about 9:30. Others in my team start coming in around 11. Monday was no different. I was busy staring at my monitor, not really doing anything constructive, when a colleague of mine walks in with a haircut. A few hours later the CEO of the company walks in with a haircut too. Soon the programmers lead walks in looking like captain spock from Star Trek (a pretty cool style I thought). It seemed like the barbers made quite a few bucks over the weekend. I needed a haircut too. My hair had turned fuzzy due to the rain and it was almost out of control. Moreover, I'd found a haircut place close to my house and I wanted to visit again.
So today, I went in. The barber asked me to sit down on this really cool barbers chair. Somewhat like a lazy boy. Well, not like the lazy boy but you know it had leg support too. It felt like keeping my legs on an ironing board but what the hell, it was fun. I never got hair cut's with my legs elevated in Delhi.
The barber came along and did the usual cotton wrapping, cloth tying routine to prevent the hair from falling in. Then he asked me "Small, Medium, Long?". I told him to do whatever he feels right. I like giving barbers the freedom to experiment with my hair hoping to one day find somebody who can magically transform my hair to look uber cool. Unfortunately, they find it quite intimidating, both my hair and the chance to do whatever they want with it . I don't know why they want to be told. You're a barber for god's sake. Your life revolves around hair. You should know what to do with it. Still I told him "Medium" followed by the usual "Or whatever you think is right!".
The haircut took about 20 minutes but I don't mind that. In fact, I kindda like hair cuts. You never know what it'll end up looking like and the strange part is that it's shaping up RIGHT in front of you. It's quite interesting. I'd like to learn how to cut hair once. Hmmmmm... anyway so after the cut he gets this round mirror to the back of my head. Now I DONT UNDERSTAND why they do that. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ? I just turn my head up and down and then to the side, I pause once or twice and stare into the mirror as if I've found a flaw in the cut. But honestly, I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's just reflex and I feel like I'm the boss so I do it :P . I think they just bring that mirror to remind you that there's a back to your head too, just in case you forget.
It cost me 50 bucks to get my head look human again. I was in double minds to leave a tip but I eventually decided against it. It was raining hard and the broker was waiting at the flat (Why? you'll find out soon :D) . Up went my umbrella and I looked down at my mucky jeans. "Rudraksha Saloon" reflected beneath in a puddle of water next to my soul (sole).
I stepped in as I walked out.
But that's just my life :)
So, the weekend was pretty good. A friend came over on Sunday and we sang and practiced a few nice songs for the band. The day went by singing and I woke up to face the dawn of Monday. Of course my alarm didn't go off as usual. But I have a fail safe now. My maid comes at 7:30am daily and the Ding Dong! wakes me. The Ding Dong is the bell btw. Oh but wait, my maid was on a leave so she didn't wake me up. I wonder how I got up :S . Well, I did, which was good and so somehow I managed to get to office. The roads were all mukcy. The rains in Mumbai arn't that bad. It's the muck on the road that gets to you. I HATE it when the bottom of my jeans get dirty. I was wearing floaters (don't know what posessed me) so I was quite mucked up. I reached office, logged in, stepped out to eat breakfeast, came back, sat, got up, stepped out to pee, drank water, came back, sat again and waited for others to come. People step in and out whenever they want to. And at about 9am there's hardly anyone from the management present so one can get away with it. Before 9am it's even better. The office is absolutely empty. Around 7am a lost soul will enter rubbing his/her eyes, yawning like there's no tomorrow. Other's arrive following a similar pattern. It seems like the office wakes up too, tossing and turning, cursing under its breath as the chit chat grows.
My shift timings now are 9am - 6pm. So I reach by about 9:30. Others in my team start coming in around 11. Monday was no different. I was busy staring at my monitor, not really doing anything constructive, when a colleague of mine walks in with a haircut. A few hours later the CEO of the company walks in with a haircut too. Soon the programmers lead walks in looking like captain spock from Star Trek (a pretty cool style I thought). It seemed like the barbers made quite a few bucks over the weekend. I needed a haircut too. My hair had turned fuzzy due to the rain and it was almost out of control. Moreover, I'd found a haircut place close to my house and I wanted to visit again.
So today, I went in. The barber asked me to sit down on this really cool barbers chair. Somewhat like a lazy boy. Well, not like the lazy boy but you know it had leg support too. It felt like keeping my legs on an ironing board but what the hell, it was fun. I never got hair cut's with my legs elevated in Delhi.
The barber came along and did the usual cotton wrapping, cloth tying routine to prevent the hair from falling in. Then he asked me "Small, Medium, Long?". I told him to do whatever he feels right. I like giving barbers the freedom to experiment with my hair hoping to one day find somebody who can magically transform my hair to look uber cool. Unfortunately, they find it quite intimidating, both my hair and the chance to do whatever they want with it . I don't know why they want to be told. You're a barber for god's sake. Your life revolves around hair. You should know what to do with it. Still I told him "Medium" followed by the usual "Or whatever you think is right!".
The haircut took about 20 minutes but I don't mind that. In fact, I kindda like hair cuts. You never know what it'll end up looking like and the strange part is that it's shaping up RIGHT in front of you. It's quite interesting. I'd like to learn how to cut hair once. Hmmmmm... anyway so after the cut he gets this round mirror to the back of my head. Now I DONT UNDERSTAND why they do that. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ? I just turn my head up and down and then to the side, I pause once or twice and stare into the mirror as if I've found a flaw in the cut. But honestly, I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's just reflex and I feel like I'm the boss so I do it :P . I think they just bring that mirror to remind you that there's a back to your head too, just in case you forget.
It cost me 50 bucks to get my head look human again. I was in double minds to leave a tip but I eventually decided against it. It was raining hard and the broker was waiting at the flat (Why? you'll find out soon :D) . Up went my umbrella and I looked down at my mucky jeans. "Rudraksha Saloon" reflected beneath in a puddle of water next to my soul (sole).
I stepped in as I walked out.
But that's just my life :)
Friday, May 15, 2009
5 minutes of fame, without a hint of shame
Luckily my phone alarm went off today. So, I was at the station on time. I rushed to buy a ticket for Malad and headed towards platform 1. The train had just arrived and I saw a man boarding the 2nd class coach. I followed his lead and climbed on. Almost instantly, I heard a "daphli" play. It's kindda like a tambourine but with a resonating membrane that fills the center. I looked around to find the source and saw a young girl holding a baby in one arm and the instrument in the other. The child was deep in sleep and the mother ( I assume ) was singing to earn her daily bread. Another little girl (her daughter maybe) moved amongst the passengers, holding her hand out on spotting an enthusiast. I watched from a distance avoiding the little girls gaze.
She sang well, her voice was clear and loud like of a folk singer's. The daphli seemed like the perfect accompaniment. Her baby slept peacefully listening to it's mother's voice, it's lullaby maybe....
I couldn't hide from the little girl for long and soon she approached me and held out her hand. I gave her 10Rs and she stared at the note for a second and folded it up. I wonder why she stared at it...
The girl sang devotional songs and movie songs. I didn't recognize a single one but they were nice. There's nothing like listening to sweet music in the morning. She held her head up high as she sang, looking up towards heaven, asking for forgiveness maybe, praying for her child perhaps.
I wanted to clap for her. I wanted to applaud her singing. But I couldn't. I tried pacifying myself by putting forth reason's like , "Maybe I'd offend her", "Maybe she gets embarrassed" , "She might not come again" etc etc... but the real reason was because I didn't want to be embarrassed. I pictured myself clapping after she ended and imagined everyone giving her a standing ovation, just like in the movies. It was a sweet moment, at least in my head. But what if that didn't happen ? I imagined myself standing there clapping alone like a fool. I didn't want that. I wanted to encourage the girl's singing but not at the cost of my dignity. Question is, would I have lost it even a bit if I had clapped. I feel horrible now.. I should have clapped instead of thinking about what other's would think about me if I did.
I stood there as my head and my heart battled out and the girl silently got off at the next station.
But that's just my life....She sang well, her voice was clear and loud like of a folk singer's. The daphli seemed like the perfect accompaniment. Her baby slept peacefully listening to it's mother's voice, it's lullaby maybe....
I couldn't hide from the little girl for long and soon she approached me and held out her hand. I gave her 10Rs and she stared at the note for a second and folded it up. I wonder why she stared at it...
The girl sang devotional songs and movie songs. I didn't recognize a single one but they were nice. There's nothing like listening to sweet music in the morning. She held her head up high as she sang, looking up towards heaven, asking for forgiveness maybe, praying for her child perhaps.
I wanted to clap for her. I wanted to applaud her singing. But I couldn't. I tried pacifying myself by putting forth reason's like , "Maybe I'd offend her", "Maybe she gets embarrassed" , "She might not come again" etc etc... but the real reason was because I didn't want to be embarrassed. I pictured myself clapping after she ended and imagined everyone giving her a standing ovation, just like in the movies. It was a sweet moment, at least in my head. But what if that didn't happen ? I imagined myself standing there clapping alone like a fool. I didn't want that. I wanted to encourage the girl's singing but not at the cost of my dignity. Question is, would I have lost it even a bit if I had clapped. I feel horrible now.. I should have clapped instead of thinking about what other's would think about me if I did.
I stood there as my head and my heart battled out and the girl silently got off at the next station.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The kaala bandar (Black Monkey)
Okay, so i saw Delhi 6. I thought it would be great but it was not ALL that great. Anyway, there was something in the movie which really intrigued me. If you haven't seen it , there is a scene where this mentally unstable man walks around with a mirror and tells everyone to look into it. The motive was searching for god within oneself. It was quite absurd at first but then I remembered something I used to do. I don't agree with the whole searching for god bit, but yeah the mirror thing actually works.
Try this,
Make sure you're alone, maybe in your room or wherever the hell you want to be. Just have a mirror with you. Now don't have those tiny irritating mirrors which only show half your face. You must have a mirror big enough to see your face ( all together) . Go stand in front of the mirror and stare at yourself. It'll come naturally to you. Stare into your own eyes and look at your face. Observe the way your face is structured, your eyes, nose etc etc. Soon you will start getting uncomfortable looking at yourself. It will feel as if you're staring at a stranger. You'll wonder what kind of a face you have, that you look funny. You'll start doubting your existence.
This takes about 10 minutes but may vary from person to person. It gets a little eery but it works. I don't know why it happens, who you see in your own reflection but after sometime, it's not you. Maybe you see god, maybe your soul, maybe Kaala Bandar, I don't know!!! but it's interesting.
So try it out...
Try this,
Make sure you're alone, maybe in your room or wherever the hell you want to be. Just have a mirror with you. Now don't have those tiny irritating mirrors which only show half your face. You must have a mirror big enough to see your face ( all together) . Go stand in front of the mirror and stare at yourself. It'll come naturally to you. Stare into your own eyes and look at your face. Observe the way your face is structured, your eyes, nose etc etc. Soon you will start getting uncomfortable looking at yourself. It will feel as if you're staring at a stranger. You'll wonder what kind of a face you have, that you look funny. You'll start doubting your existence.
This takes about 10 minutes but may vary from person to person. It gets a little eery but it works. I don't know why it happens, who you see in your own reflection but after sometime, it's not you. Maybe you see god, maybe your soul, maybe Kaala Bandar, I don't know!!! but it's interesting.
So try it out...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The perfect teacher - My mom :D
So the other day my mother had her school play for the DPS annual day. She was playing a part on stage and was quite nervous. Anyway, there was a fight at home regarding the car. To avoid chaos I agreed to drive down mehrauli road at 6:30 am to drop her to school and get the car back.. We reached school at around 7:15 (Yeah in 45 minutes, dunno how because I was quite asleep!) . I got out of the car and helped her with the bags and everything. The school ground was filled with little kids dressed in their respective costumes and all ready to go to Kamani (the auditorium) where the play was to show. I said bye bye to mom as I sat in the car and she walked towards the school. Then suddenly I heard my mother's name being cheered and greeted. Apparently, a bunch of kids were calling out to my mother. "Poonam maam,Poonam maam" they screamed as they came and hugged her around her waist. Some of them caught hold of her legs because they weren't tall enough. More kids swarmed in like bees as if mom was covered with honey. They just wouldn't let go and she had to walk with them clinging on. They kept shrieking with laughter and yelling out her name, fought with each other for their share of her and she smiled all the way without a sign of discomfort or frustration.
She looked like the perfect teacher and I was immensely proud to be her son.
I yawned and honked at the gatekeeper to open the gate and drove back home with that image in my head wondering what I'd eat for breakfast. But that's just my life....
She looked like the perfect teacher and I was immensely proud to be her son.
I yawned and honked at the gatekeeper to open the gate and drove back home with that image in my head wondering what I'd eat for breakfast. But that's just my life....
नमस्ते जी
हाँ तोह भाई श्रीमान और श्रीमती,
अगर आप कभी बगीचे में गए हों तोह आपको ज़रूर एक फूल दिखा होगा। इस फूल को आप लोगों ने तोर कर सवार होगा या किसी प्रेमी उर्फ़ प्रेमिका को दे दिया होगा। क्या आप जानते हैं के "फूल" शब्द किस अक्षर से शुरू होता है?
वोह अक्षर है "फ"
Okay that was fun :) , The hindi font is really smart. Anyway so here's a fun little experiment.
Say the word "फूल" out loud. If you're saying "Fool" then you need some hindi lessons. For those who know the correct pronunciation of the first syllable, here's something to do.
Try and write फूल in english and try to spell it in a way to recreate the perfect pronunciation of "फूल"।
I was quite amazed to find out that one cannot recreate that particular syllable sound in english. There seem to be no combination of letters that produce that sound when pronounced together.
Quite random but yet amazing don't you think ?..... Oh btw, this particular discovery has been running in my head for about 3 weeks now.. Today when I actually got myself to write about it , I discovered that there is a way in which you can reproduce the sound... Try figuring out how and leave ur comments :)
अगर आप कभी बगीचे में गए हों तोह आपको ज़रूर एक फूल दिखा होगा। इस फूल को आप लोगों ने तोर कर सवार होगा या किसी प्रेमी उर्फ़ प्रेमिका को दे दिया होगा। क्या आप जानते हैं के "फूल" शब्द किस अक्षर से शुरू होता है?
वोह अक्षर है "फ"
Okay that was fun :) , The hindi font is really smart. Anyway so here's a fun little experiment.
Say the word "फूल" out loud. If you're saying "Fool" then you need some hindi lessons. For those who know the correct pronunciation of the first syllable, here's something to do.
Try and write फूल in english and try to spell it in a way to recreate the perfect pronunciation of "फूल"।
I was quite amazed to find out that one cannot recreate that particular syllable sound in english. There seem to be no combination of letters that produce that sound when pronounced together.
Quite random but yet amazing don't you think ?..... Oh btw, this particular discovery has been running in my head for about 3 weeks now.. Today when I actually got myself to write about it , I discovered that there is a way in which you can reproduce the sound... Try figuring out how and leave ur comments :)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
A few days back I found myself searching for the passport office's website on the internet. My younger brother needs his passport renewed from a 5 years minor passport to a 10 year full fledged thing and so I was assigned the task. (I being the elder responsible one :P ). Anyway, google brought me to the passport departments website and I have to say, I was IMPRESSED. Not by the idea of a website dedicated to the process of passport applications but by the simplicity with which the website offered information. Within 15 minutes I knew exactly what kind of passport my brother required, the documents needed for renewal and I downloaded the application forms too. To top it all, the website told me the timings of the passport office, the counters for different types of passport applications. Every bloody thing I could imagine was there on the site.
But you know our opinions about government procedures don't you ? I'm equipped with a Master's in Computer Applications, I've been using the internet for years but still my trust in the information presented on the website lacked confidence. I don't know why it happens, but whenever I've gone to one of these government offices, I somehow always feel as if they're out to get me. It's not just me , If you ask me they're out to get everyone.....
I had to call someone and find out if I've got everything figured out to the 'T'. So, I searced for the passport office telephone numbers. This is where things started getting interesting. I think I'm going to use a new paragraph :D
Like I said, I tried finding out the passport office numbers.
OBSERVATION : No numbers on the main website.
REASON : Unselected city in the PASSPORT office drop down list on the main page.
RESULT : Extreme frustration on discovery.
I had to kill the webpage, I just had to. I picked up the phone and dialled "9511-2222222". That's JUST DIAL's enquiry service (For those living in the stone age). I waited for someone to pick up and soon enough a friendly voice greeted me. I asked for the Delhi Passport office numbers and the information was promptly sent on my mobile. They concluded the call by asking me if I was looking for some passport agents. I said No! and hung up. I really don't care for their courtesy at the end of the call. Why would I want numbers of passport agents at the end of the call ? If I want them , I will ask for them in the beginning. It just pisses me off.
Anyway, coming back to the numbers of the passport office. I got 5 (Wooohooooo!!). "I've got them now", I thought to myself and furiously punched the first number on my landline.
What followed was something I like to call " THE Tringg Tringg, No response Phenomenon". To put it simply, NOONE BLOODY ANSWERED. I tried the other numbers, same thing, over and over again for every number I dialled. Finally, someone picked up. I was so overjoyed on hearing the euphoric "hello" , I couldn't utter anything for the first few seconds. Eventually I managed to put forth my question.
"For Tatkaal passports, what documents are supposed to be submitted?".
The ass on the other end of the line said , "Please call the enquiry counter.." and he hung up. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. It took me 25 minutes to get through to one number and he hung up in 20 seconds. I couldn't take it so I called the same number again and again and again. I got through again, a different guy this time. I changed my question this time around and asked
Me : "Can I have the number of the enquiry counter?".
Stranger in passport office : "The enquiry counter doesn't have a phone. You'll have to come here".
............. and he hung up again.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!, I couldn't win , I just could not bloody win. It drove me insane and I decided to visit the passport office with my queries the next day. But there was one slight problem. I didn't know whether the timings for the enquiry counter were the same as that of main office. Again I called them up and found out that the enquiry counter was open till 4pm. I thanked my stars and prepared a list of questions that I had to ask.
Next day, I got off at AIIMS and for some strange reason I thought that Bhikaji Gama(Cama :S ) place was right around the corner. So I walked..... By the time I got there I had my new jacket on my arm, the top two buttons of my shirt were open and I was sweating like a pig. Apparently, Bhikaji Cama (Gama) place wasn't exactly around the corner.
I found the passport office which is at the extreme end of the complex, behind Hyatt. I took a wrong turn so I had to walk all around the complex to get there but I think there is a left from the ring road that goes right to it. I spotted the entrance and stood in line. There was huge guard blocking the gate with his arm and he wasn't looking to happy. He seemed to do the OPPOSITE of what he was SUPPOSED to do. Instead of allowing people to go in, he was stopping everyone he could. But honestly, I was impressed by the kind of protocol that the security followed. Noone was allowed in without a proper authority letter or a valid ID proof. I happened to catch the name of the company on the logo of his uniform. It said "Fireball". They were good!.. Well, my turn came and I told the guard I had to visit the enquiry counter. He gave me one of those weird stares which seemed to question my existence. I had to repeat my statement to get a response out of him.
The enquiry counter was behind the main office building. I'd just wasted 15 minutes of time standing in the wrong queue.... This was just not my day. But eventually I did get to the right queue and the right counter. Things were looking up, I was happy :) . The man on the other side of the counter asked me what I wanted to know. I handed him my brothers old passport and fired away a few questions. To each question I asked he had the same answer, "The new form is 10 Rs, take it and fill it". I tried hard to make him understand that I had already gone through the information on the website and it clearly mentioned I needed FORM # 2 for passport renewal. "The new form, Form #1 is Rs 10. The information on the website is incorrect", he said.
I thanked him for telling me the correct form number and told him that I had a printed copy of the form already. The only thing I wanted now was a list of the documents that had to be submitted with the form. But, he refused to divulge that information. I tried explaining to him that I had come all the way from Gurgaon just because they didn't have a phone at the counter but my explanation fell on deaf ears. He said that I should buy the form (that I already had printed at home) and there was a list of documents behind it. I told him to just tell them to me but he refused. His exact words were , "Aap form le lijiye, uske picche likha ha". "Toh aap nahin batayenge , agar mein form nahin lunga?", I asked. He replied "Nahin!!, aap internet se hi dekh lijiye.. Wahan likha hai sab kuch saaf saaf". He was contradicting himself and I couldn't bear to look at him anymore, so I moved out of line, cursing him as I went down the steps.
I stood in the same line 3 more times till he finally agreed to give in and told me what I needed to know. It turns out that my feeling about the information on the website was correct. One just cannot trust these government offices. I have never been able to get my work done in 1 day. It's always something or the other that I need to come back for. Incomplete documents, unmentioned attachments, always something.
But on the brighter side, at least they have a website. They even have an online registration where you can fill in the form online and then take a print. The income tax department is better in this regard. Their online system seems flawless. I applied for a PAN card online, paid a Rs 60/- fee by the credit card and the pan card was at my house within 2 weeks. It was the simplest thing I ever did. But then again, the PAN card gets moolah in for the government.
It's a shame that we don't trust our own government, but we just criticize the system don't we? Who will make a change? I develop websites for a living but would I make one for the passport department ? I don't think so, I'd rather post a new blog entry and ridicule the exisiting one...
But that's just my life!!!
But you know our opinions about government procedures don't you ? I'm equipped with a Master's in Computer Applications, I've been using the internet for years but still my trust in the information presented on the website lacked confidence. I don't know why it happens, but whenever I've gone to one of these government offices, I somehow always feel as if they're out to get me. It's not just me , If you ask me they're out to get everyone.....
I had to call someone and find out if I've got everything figured out to the 'T'. So, I searced for the passport office telephone numbers. This is where things started getting interesting. I think I'm going to use a new paragraph :D
Like I said, I tried finding out the passport office numbers.
OBSERVATION : No numbers on the main website.
REASON : Unselected city in the PASSPORT office drop down list on the main page.
RESULT : Extreme frustration on discovery.
I had to kill the webpage, I just had to. I picked up the phone and dialled "9511-2222222". That's JUST DIAL's enquiry service (For those living in the stone age). I waited for someone to pick up and soon enough a friendly voice greeted me. I asked for the Delhi Passport office numbers and the information was promptly sent on my mobile. They concluded the call by asking me if I was looking for some passport agents. I said No! and hung up. I really don't care for their courtesy at the end of the call. Why would I want numbers of passport agents at the end of the call ? If I want them , I will ask for them in the beginning. It just pisses me off.
Anyway, coming back to the numbers of the passport office. I got 5 (Wooohooooo!!). "I've got them now", I thought to myself and furiously punched the first number on my landline.
What followed was something I like to call " THE Tringg Tringg, No response Phenomenon". To put it simply, NOONE BLOODY ANSWERED. I tried the other numbers, same thing, over and over again for every number I dialled. Finally, someone picked up. I was so overjoyed on hearing the euphoric "hello" , I couldn't utter anything for the first few seconds. Eventually I managed to put forth my question.
"For Tatkaal passports, what documents are supposed to be submitted?".
The ass on the other end of the line said , "Please call the enquiry counter.." and he hung up. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. It took me 25 minutes to get through to one number and he hung up in 20 seconds. I couldn't take it so I called the same number again and again and again. I got through again, a different guy this time. I changed my question this time around and asked
Me : "Can I have the number of the enquiry counter?".
Stranger in passport office : "The enquiry counter doesn't have a phone. You'll have to come here".
............. and he hung up again.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!, I couldn't win , I just could not bloody win. It drove me insane and I decided to visit the passport office with my queries the next day. But there was one slight problem. I didn't know whether the timings for the enquiry counter were the same as that of main office. Again I called them up and found out that the enquiry counter was open till 4pm. I thanked my stars and prepared a list of questions that I had to ask.
Next day, I got off at AIIMS and for some strange reason I thought that Bhikaji Gama(Cama :S ) place was right around the corner. So I walked..... By the time I got there I had my new jacket on my arm, the top two buttons of my shirt were open and I was sweating like a pig. Apparently, Bhikaji Cama (Gama) place wasn't exactly around the corner.
I found the passport office which is at the extreme end of the complex, behind Hyatt. I took a wrong turn so I had to walk all around the complex to get there but I think there is a left from the ring road that goes right to it. I spotted the entrance and stood in line. There was huge guard blocking the gate with his arm and he wasn't looking to happy. He seemed to do the OPPOSITE of what he was SUPPOSED to do. Instead of allowing people to go in, he was stopping everyone he could. But honestly, I was impressed by the kind of protocol that the security followed. Noone was allowed in without a proper authority letter or a valid ID proof. I happened to catch the name of the company on the logo of his uniform. It said "Fireball". They were good!.. Well, my turn came and I told the guard I had to visit the enquiry counter. He gave me one of those weird stares which seemed to question my existence. I had to repeat my statement to get a response out of him.
The enquiry counter was behind the main office building. I'd just wasted 15 minutes of time standing in the wrong queue.... This was just not my day. But eventually I did get to the right queue and the right counter. Things were looking up, I was happy :) . The man on the other side of the counter asked me what I wanted to know. I handed him my brothers old passport and fired away a few questions. To each question I asked he had the same answer, "The new form is 10 Rs, take it and fill it". I tried hard to make him understand that I had already gone through the information on the website and it clearly mentioned I needed FORM # 2 for passport renewal. "The new form, Form #1 is Rs 10. The information on the website is incorrect", he said.
I thanked him for telling me the correct form number and told him that I had a printed copy of the form already. The only thing I wanted now was a list of the documents that had to be submitted with the form. But, he refused to divulge that information. I tried explaining to him that I had come all the way from Gurgaon just because they didn't have a phone at the counter but my explanation fell on deaf ears. He said that I should buy the form (that I already had printed at home) and there was a list of documents behind it. I told him to just tell them to me but he refused. His exact words were , "Aap form le lijiye, uske picche likha ha". "Toh aap nahin batayenge , agar mein form nahin lunga?", I asked. He replied "Nahin!!, aap internet se hi dekh lijiye.. Wahan likha hai sab kuch saaf saaf". He was contradicting himself and I couldn't bear to look at him anymore, so I moved out of line, cursing him as I went down the steps.
I stood in the same line 3 more times till he finally agreed to give in and told me what I needed to know. It turns out that my feeling about the information on the website was correct. One just cannot trust these government offices. I have never been able to get my work done in 1 day. It's always something or the other that I need to come back for. Incomplete documents, unmentioned attachments, always something.
But on the brighter side, at least they have a website. They even have an online registration where you can fill in the form online and then take a print. The income tax department is better in this regard. Their online system seems flawless. I applied for a PAN card online, paid a Rs 60/- fee by the credit card and the pan card was at my house within 2 weeks. It was the simplest thing I ever did. But then again, the PAN card gets moolah in for the government.
It's a shame that we don't trust our own government, but we just criticize the system don't we? Who will make a change? I develop websites for a living but would I make one for the passport department ? I don't think so, I'd rather post a new blog entry and ridicule the exisiting one...
But that's just my life!!!
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