I had applied for a telephone connection at my apartment because my roommate was too lazy to work towards getting the internet connection. Being the internet bug that I am, it wasn't possible to live with the idea of not having 24/7 access to the internet. I first approached Reliance broadband. Their fellows even visited my flat with a humongous square wireless dish. But who would've known the descendent's of Mr. Ambani would not be able to get a signal on the 14th floor because their broadcast towers are too low. So, the only alternative I now had was MTNL because the idiots in my building , for some reason won't allow Hathway connections or any other ISP for that matter that puts up wires. :|
My adventure with MTNL began with my application for a fixed land line which is a prerequisite to avail of TriBand (their broadband service). While filling out the form I made it a point to mention to the lady across the table that they should contact me on my cell phone before installing the MTNL line. She noted my mobile number and gave me a strange unformatted dot matrix printed receipt for the service amount of Rs. 500/- that they charged. I asked her how long it'd take and she assured me that I would get the connection within the week. I asked her how soon I could get the internet connection. She said it would take another week after I submit the TriBand form (a separate application form) and the deposit for the modem. I thanked her and walked out.
Days went by, then weeks went by and I got quite busy with work to think about the internet connection. After I resigned (Wooohoooo!!) I realized that I wouldn't need the phone connection anymore and decided to return the MTNL office to get a refund. This is where things got exciting. So there I was , one morning, unshaved, unkempt standing next to the Charkop bus stand about to relive something similar to the Passport office (see old posts). I went in to find the lady who had helped me last time but couldn't. Apparently, the other day she was filling in for the one who was actually in charge of new connections. I managed to find the lady in charge and I filled her in about my problem. I told her I would appreciate if I could get a refund as the connection hadn't yet been installed. She looked into her software, looked at me and looked back at her screen. Then slowly she looked at me again and said, "But the connection has already been given, your number is XXXXXXXX". I was so dumbstruck that I couldn't stop staring at her face for 10 seconds. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about ?. I asked her, "Can you confirm the address please". She read out my address. I informed her that I wasn't aware of any connection that had been installed at my place and I never got any call from MTNL telling me that they were coming to install the phone. She shook her head twice and said "Please meet Trivedi at the Sector 9 office. They handle all the connections". I knew arguing with her would be pointless. I took directions to the "other" MTNL office and set out to meet Mr. Trivedi. (the incharge!).
Trivedi was sitting with 2 random people doing some random stuff with random registers. I took a seat on a sofa placed on the left side of a typical government office cabin. It took a while for the random things to conclude and finally I was summoned by his highness Trivedi. I explained my problem again and told him I had not received any phone call regarding the connection. "We couldn't call you, you were not home" replied Trivedi. I tried keeping my cool and told him "I HAD LEFT MY MOBILE NUMBER. I DONT HAVE TO BE HOME TO RECEIVE CALLS ON IT. THAT'S WHY I HAVE A MOBILE. THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A MOBILE. I CAN BE LOCOMOTIVE AND STILL RECEIVE CALLS. MOREOVER I CAN'T RECEIVE ANY CALLS ON THE NON EXISTENT NUMBER YOU HAVE BEEN OR HOPING TO CALL ME AT, BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER INSTALLED .... MORON!!" , well in a more sophisticated tone of course. He double checked his logs and said "Well, they didn't send the mobile number with the work order". "Who didn't send what ?", I asked. I honestly didn't know what he was talking about. After a few more questions I figured out that he was trying to pass the buck back to the first office. So I yelled!!! what else was I supposed to do ? I lost it. I told him that I didn't care about the work order. I had left my mobile number and I should've gotten a call. I told him I needed to cancel the connection and the lady in the first office had told me that I needed a letter from him to do so. He heard me unwillingly and finally decided that he wasn't in a position to take a decision. So he presented me to his Boss. I had to narrate my story again.... I was quite sick of it by now. The boss seemed exceptionally cool about the whole situation and told Trivedi to ask me to go back to the first office and fill up a surrender form. I interrupted and asked what was I supposed to surrender when I hadn't received anything to surrender. I guess they soon realized that I wasn't new to being bounced around government office departments and finally after an hour of painful explanation Trivedi wrote me the cancellation letter. I took the letter back to the first office and presented it to the lady who had asked for it. She wasn't expecting me so soon. She told me to submit it at Counter #1. So I went to counter #1. It was unattended. Oh! what a surprise. Fortunately, the lady (YEAH!!, Lot of women working at MTNL) at counter 1 wasn't long. I told her why I was there and how I was told to get the cancellation letter. She yelled out to the first lady and asked her what the hell was going on. They exchanged a few words and I was directed to go into the managers office. The manager or whoever he was , was quite a jackass. I sung out my woes to him and he very casually said "It's not our problem, we only send out work orders. I have your number in the system. I don't know why Trivedi didn't call you.". I explained t0 him that for me "MTNL" was one body. I didn't care and wasn't concerned with miscommunication between their departments. He was quite stuck up and began enlightening me with the structure of MTNL and how they had a million different departments and that one department could not take responsibility for a screw up that any other department did. I had had enough. I stood up and yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT". The neighbours took notice (my intention :P ) and a few MTNL officials poured in (just what I needed, more stuck up idiots). I created a huge scene till they finally agreed to cancel my phone line. But the ass that I am I wanted more ( !! ). I told them I wanted my cheque at my Delhi address. Of course they weren't going to agree on that. So after a few more allegations, shouts and scenes they requested me to give in a written application. I drafted a quick one , attached it to my receipt copies, the cancellation letter copy and handed it to the lady at counter #1. I told her I'd like an acknowledgment. She browsed through my application and asked me to get a photocopy/xerox. Now, they didn't have a bloody copier in the office and it was almost lunch time (Government office lunches are never ending!). I told her to wait for me before going to lunch and returned with the copy within 10 minutes. At last I got the acknowledgment and finally got out.
The mention of lunch made me hungry and I remembered a chaat shop close by. I ate a sandwich, some dahi puri and washed it down with coconut water. I was refueled and all set to face the NEXT GOVERNMENT OFFICE.
But that's just my life....
My adventure with MTNL began with my application for a fixed land line which is a prerequisite to avail of TriBand (their broadband service). While filling out the form I made it a point to mention to the lady across the table that they should contact me on my cell phone before installing the MTNL line. She noted my mobile number and gave me a strange unformatted dot matrix printed receipt for the service amount of Rs. 500/- that they charged. I asked her how long it'd take and she assured me that I would get the connection within the week. I asked her how soon I could get the internet connection. She said it would take another week after I submit the TriBand form (a separate application form) and the deposit for the modem. I thanked her and walked out.
Days went by, then weeks went by and I got quite busy with work to think about the internet connection. After I resigned (Wooohoooo!!) I realized that I wouldn't need the phone connection anymore and decided to return the MTNL office to get a refund. This is where things got exciting. So there I was , one morning, unshaved, unkempt standing next to the Charkop bus stand about to relive something similar to the Passport office (see old posts). I went in to find the lady who had helped me last time but couldn't. Apparently, the other day she was filling in for the one who was actually in charge of new connections. I managed to find the lady in charge and I filled her in about my problem. I told her I would appreciate if I could get a refund as the connection hadn't yet been installed. She looked into her software, looked at me and looked back at her screen. Then slowly she looked at me again and said, "But the connection has already been given, your number is XXXXXXXX". I was so dumbstruck that I couldn't stop staring at her face for 10 seconds. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about ?. I asked her, "Can you confirm the address please". She read out my address. I informed her that I wasn't aware of any connection that had been installed at my place and I never got any call from MTNL telling me that they were coming to install the phone. She shook her head twice and said "Please meet Trivedi at the Sector 9 office. They handle all the connections". I knew arguing with her would be pointless. I took directions to the "other" MTNL office and set out to meet Mr. Trivedi. (the incharge!).
Trivedi was sitting with 2 random people doing some random stuff with random registers. I took a seat on a sofa placed on the left side of a typical government office cabin. It took a while for the random things to conclude and finally I was summoned by his highness Trivedi. I explained my problem again and told him I had not received any phone call regarding the connection. "We couldn't call you, you were not home" replied Trivedi. I tried keeping my cool and told him "I HAD LEFT MY MOBILE NUMBER. I DONT HAVE TO BE HOME TO RECEIVE CALLS ON IT. THAT'S WHY I HAVE A MOBILE. THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A MOBILE. I CAN BE LOCOMOTIVE AND STILL RECEIVE CALLS. MOREOVER I CAN'T RECEIVE ANY CALLS ON THE NON EXISTENT NUMBER YOU HAVE BEEN OR HOPING TO CALL ME AT, BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER INSTALLED .... MORON!!" , well in a more sophisticated tone of course. He double checked his logs and said "Well, they didn't send the mobile number with the work order". "Who didn't send what ?", I asked. I honestly didn't know what he was talking about. After a few more questions I figured out that he was trying to pass the buck back to the first office. So I yelled!!! what else was I supposed to do ? I lost it. I told him that I didn't care about the work order. I had left my mobile number and I should've gotten a call. I told him I needed to cancel the connection and the lady in the first office had told me that I needed a letter from him to do so. He heard me unwillingly and finally decided that he wasn't in a position to take a decision. So he presented me to his Boss. I had to narrate my story again.... I was quite sick of it by now. The boss seemed exceptionally cool about the whole situation and told Trivedi to ask me to go back to the first office and fill up a surrender form. I interrupted and asked what was I supposed to surrender when I hadn't received anything to surrender. I guess they soon realized that I wasn't new to being bounced around government office departments and finally after an hour of painful explanation Trivedi wrote me the cancellation letter. I took the letter back to the first office and presented it to the lady who had asked for it. She wasn't expecting me so soon. She told me to submit it at Counter #1. So I went to counter #1. It was unattended. Oh! what a surprise. Fortunately, the lady (YEAH!!, Lot of women working at MTNL) at counter 1 wasn't long. I told her why I was there and how I was told to get the cancellation letter. She yelled out to the first lady and asked her what the hell was going on. They exchanged a few words and I was directed to go into the managers office. The manager or whoever he was , was quite a jackass. I sung out my woes to him and he very casually said "It's not our problem, we only send out work orders. I have your number in the system. I don't know why Trivedi didn't call you.". I explained t0 him that for me "MTNL" was one body. I didn't care and wasn't concerned with miscommunication between their departments. He was quite stuck up and began enlightening me with the structure of MTNL and how they had a million different departments and that one department could not take responsibility for a screw up that any other department did. I had had enough. I stood up and yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT". The neighbours took notice (my intention :P ) and a few MTNL officials poured in (just what I needed, more stuck up idiots). I created a huge scene till they finally agreed to cancel my phone line. But the ass that I am I wanted more ( !! ). I told them I wanted my cheque at my Delhi address. Of course they weren't going to agree on that. So after a few more allegations, shouts and scenes they requested me to give in a written application. I drafted a quick one , attached it to my receipt copies, the cancellation letter copy and handed it to the lady at counter #1. I told her I'd like an acknowledgment. She browsed through my application and asked me to get a photocopy/xerox. Now, they didn't have a bloody copier in the office and it was almost lunch time (Government office lunches are never ending!). I told her to wait for me before going to lunch and returned with the copy within 10 minutes. At last I got the acknowledgment and finally got out.
The mention of lunch made me hungry and I remembered a chaat shop close by. I ate a sandwich, some dahi puri and washed it down with coconut water. I was refueled and all set to face the NEXT GOVERNMENT OFFICE.
But that's just my life....
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