Hair cutting, doing nothing , pum! pum!

It's been quite a while since I blogged. In fact I've been keeping a mental note of a few things that I want to write about but for some reason I just don't get down to it. Today, I felt like writing but not about the stuff I've been thinking about. I just wanted to randomly write and that's exactly what I'm doing.

So, the weekend was pretty good. A friend came over on Sunday and we sang and practiced a few nice songs for the band. The day went by singing and I woke up to face the dawn of Monday. Of course my alarm didn't go off as usual. But I have a fail safe now. My maid comes at 7:30am daily and the Ding Dong! wakes me. The Ding Dong is the bell btw. Oh but wait, my maid was on a leave so she didn't wake me up. I wonder how I got up :S . Well, I did, which was good and so somehow I managed to get to office. The roads were all mukcy. The rains in Mumbai arn't that bad. It's the muck on the road that gets to you. I HATE it when the bottom of my jeans get dirty. I was wearing floaters (don't know what posessed me) so I was quite mucked up. I reached office, logged in, stepped out to eat breakfeast, came back, sat, got up, stepped out to pee, drank water, came back, sat again and waited for others to come. People step in and out whenever they want to. And at about 9am there's hardly anyone from the management present so one can get away with it. Before 9am it's even better. The office is absolutely empty. Around 7am a lost soul will enter rubbing his/her eyes, yawning like there's no tomorrow. Other's arrive following a similar pattern. It seems like the office wakes up too, tossing and turning, cursing under its breath as the chit chat grows.

My shift timings now are 9am - 6pm. So I reach by about 9:30. Others in my team start coming in around 11. Monday was no different. I was busy staring at my monitor, not really doing anything constructive, when a colleague of mine walks in with a haircut. A few hours later the CEO of the company walks in with a haircut too. Soon the programmers lead walks in looking like captain spock from Star Trek (a pretty cool style I thought). It seemed like the barbers made quite a few bucks over the weekend. I needed a haircut too. My hair had turned fuzzy due to the rain and it was almost out of control. Moreover, I'd found a haircut place close to my house and I wanted to visit again.

So today, I went in. The barber asked me to sit down on this really cool barbers chair. Somewhat like a lazy boy. Well, not like the lazy boy but you know it had leg support too. It felt like keeping my legs on an ironing board but what the hell, it was fun. I never got hair cut's with my legs elevated in Delhi.

The barber came along and did the usual cotton wrapping, cloth tying routine to prevent the hair from falling in. Then he asked me "Small, Medium, Long?". I told him to do whatever he feels right. I like giving barbers the freedom to experiment with my hair hoping to one day find somebody who can magically transform my hair to look uber cool. Unfortunately, they find it quite intimidating, both my hair and the chance to do whatever they want with it . I don't know why they want to be told. You're a barber for god's sake. Your life revolves around hair. You should know what to do with it. Still I told him "Medium" followed by the usual "Or whatever you think is right!".

The haircut took about 20 minutes but I don't mind that. In fact, I kindda like hair cuts. You never know what it'll end up looking like and the strange part is that it's shaping up RIGHT in front of you. It's quite interesting. I'd like to learn how to cut hair once. Hmmmmm... anyway so after the cut he gets this round mirror to the back of my head. Now I DONT UNDERSTAND why they do that. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ? I just turn my head up and down and then to the side, I pause once or twice and stare into the mirror as if I've found a flaw in the cut. But honestly, I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's just reflex and I feel like I'm the boss so I do it :P . I think they just bring that mirror to remind you that there's a back to your head too, just in case you forget.

It cost me 50 bucks to get my head look human again. I was in double minds to leave a tip but I eventually decided against it. It was raining hard and the broker was waiting at the flat (Why? you'll find out soon :D) . Up went my umbrella and I looked down at my mucky jeans. "Rudraksha Saloon" reflected beneath in a puddle of water next to my soul (sole).

I stepped in as I walked out.

But that's just my life :)

5 minutes of fame, without a hint of shame

Luckily my phone alarm went off today. So, I was at the station on time. I rushed to buy a ticket for Malad and headed towards platform 1. The train had just arrived and I saw a man boarding the 2nd class coach. I followed his lead and climbed on. Almost instantly, I heard a "daphli" play. It's kindda like a tambourine but with a resonating membrane that fills the center. I looked around to find the source and saw a young girl holding a baby in one arm and the instrument in the other. The child was deep in sleep and the mother ( I assume ) was singing to earn her daily bread. Another little girl (her daughter maybe) moved amongst the passengers, holding her hand out on spotting an enthusiast. I watched from a distance avoiding the little girls gaze.

She sang well, her voice was clear and loud like of a folk singer's. The daphli seemed like the perfect accompaniment. Her baby slept peacefully listening to it's mother's voice, it's lullaby maybe....

I couldn't hide from the little girl for long and soon she approached me and held out her hand. I gave her 10Rs and she stared at the note for a second and folded it up. I wonder why she stared at it...

The girl sang devotional songs and movie songs. I didn't recognize a single one but they were nice. There's nothing like listening to sweet music in the morning. She held her head up high as she sang, looking up towards heaven, asking for forgiveness maybe, praying for her child perhaps.

I wanted to clap for her. I wanted to applaud her singing. But I couldn't. I tried pacifying myself by putting forth reason's like , "Maybe I'd offend her", "Maybe she gets embarrassed" , "She might not come again" etc etc... but the real reason was because I didn't want to be embarrassed. I pictured myself clapping after she ended and imagined everyone giving her a standing ovation, just like in the movies. It was a sweet moment, at least in my head. But what if that didn't happen ? I imagined myself standing there clapping alone like a fool. I didn't want that. I wanted to encourage the girl's singing but not at the cost of my dignity. Question is, would I have lost it even a bit if I had clapped. I feel horrible now.. I should have clapped instead of thinking about what other's would think about me if I did.

I stood there as my head and my heart battled out and the girl silently got off at the next station.

But that's just my life....

The kaala bandar (Black Monkey)

Okay, so i saw Delhi 6. I thought it would be great but it was not ALL that great. Anyway, there was something in the movie which really intrigued me. If you haven't seen it , there is a scene where this mentally unstable man walks around with a mirror and tells everyone to look into it. The motive was searching for god within oneself. It was quite absurd at first but then I remembered something I used to do. I don't agree with the whole searching for god bit, but yeah the mirror thing actually works.

Try this,

Make sure you're alone, maybe in your room or wherever the hell you want to be. Just have a mirror with you. Now don't have those tiny irritating mirrors which only show half your face. You must have a mirror big enough to see your face ( all together) . Go stand in front of the mirror and stare at yourself. It'll come naturally to you. Stare into your own eyes and look at your face. Observe the way your face is structured, your eyes, nose etc etc. Soon you will start getting uncomfortable looking at yourself. It will feel as if you're staring at a stranger. You'll wonder what kind of a face you have, that you look funny. You'll start doubting your existence.

This takes about 10 minutes but may vary from person to person. It gets a little eery but it works. I don't know why it happens, who you see in your own reflection but after sometime, it's not you. Maybe you see god, maybe your soul, maybe Kaala Bandar, I don't know!!! but it's interesting.

So try it out...

The perfect teacher - My mom :D

So the other day my mother had her school play for the DPS annual day. She was playing a part on stage and was quite nervous. Anyway, there was a fight at home regarding the car. To avoid chaos I agreed to drive down mehrauli road at 6:30 am to drop her to school and get the car back.. We reached school at around 7:15 (Yeah in 45 minutes, dunno how because I was quite asleep!) . I got out of the car and helped her with the bags and everything. The school ground was filled with little kids dressed in their respective costumes and all ready to go to Kamani (the auditorium) where the play was to show. I said bye bye to mom as I sat in the car and she walked towards the school. Then suddenly I heard my mother's name being cheered and greeted. Apparently, a bunch of kids were calling out to my mother. "Poonam maam,Poonam maam" they screamed as they came and hugged her around her waist. Some of them caught hold of her legs because they weren't tall enough. More kids swarmed in like bees as if mom was covered with honey. They just wouldn't let go and she had to walk with them clinging on. They kept shrieking with laughter and yelling out her name, fought with each other for their share of her and she smiled all the way without a sign of discomfort or frustration.

She looked like the perfect teacher and I was immensely proud to be her son.

I yawned and honked at the gatekeeper to open the gate and drove back home with that image in my head wondering what I'd eat for breakfast. But that's just my life....

नमस्ते जी

हाँ तोह भाई श्रीमान और श्रीमती,

अगर आप कभी बगीचे में गए हों तोह आपको ज़रूर एक फूल दिखा होगा। इस फूल को आप लोगों ने तोर कर सवार होगा या किसी प्रेमी उर्फ़ प्रेमिका को दे दिया होगा। क्या आप जानते हैं के "फूल" शब्द किस अक्षर से शुरू होता है?

वोह अक्षर है "फ"

Okay that was fun :) , The hindi font is really smart. Anyway so here's a fun little experiment.

Say the word "फूल" out loud. If you're saying "Fool" then you need some hindi lessons. For those who know the correct pronunciation of the first syllable, here's something to do.

Try and write फूल in english and try to spell it in a way to recreate the perfect pronunciation of "फूल"।
I was quite amazed to find out that one cannot recreate that particular syllable sound in english. There seem to be no combination of letters that produce that sound when pronounced together.

Quite random but yet amazing don't you think ?..... Oh btw, this particular discovery has been running in my head for about 3 weeks now.. Today when I actually got myself to write about it , I discovered that there is a way in which you can reproduce the sound... Try figuring out how and leave ur comments :)

A few days back I found myself searching for the passport office's website on the internet. My younger brother needs his passport renewed from a 5 years minor passport to a 10 year full fledged thing and so I was assigned the task. (I being the elder responsible one :P ). Anyway, google brought me to the passport departments website and I have to say, I was IMPRESSED. Not by the idea of a website dedicated to the process of passport applications but by the simplicity with which the website offered information. Within 15 minutes I knew exactly what kind of passport my brother required, the documents needed for renewal and I downloaded the application forms too. To top it all, the website told me the timings of the passport office, the counters for different types of passport applications. Every bloody thing I could imagine was there on the site.

But you know our opinions about government procedures don't you ? I'm equipped with a Master's in Computer Applications, I've been using the internet for years but still my trust in the information presented on the website lacked confidence. I don't know why it happens, but whenever I've gone to one of these government offices, I somehow always feel as if they're out to get me. It's not just me , If you ask me they're out to get everyone.....
I had to call someone and find out if I've got everything figured out to the 'T'. So, I searced for the passport office telephone numbers. This is where things started getting interesting. I think I'm going to use a new paragraph :D

Like I said, I tried finding out the passport office numbers.

OBSERVATION : No numbers on the main website.
REASON : Unselected city in the PASSPORT office drop down list on the main page.
RESULT : Extreme frustration on discovery.

I had to kill the webpage, I just had to. I picked up the phone and dialled "9511-2222222". That's JUST DIAL's enquiry service (For those living in the stone age). I waited for someone to pick up and soon enough a friendly voice greeted me. I asked for the Delhi Passport office numbers and the information was promptly sent on my mobile. They concluded the call by asking me if I was looking for some passport agents. I said No! and hung up. I really don't care for their courtesy at the end of the call. Why would I want numbers of passport agents at the end of the call ? If I want them , I will ask for them in the beginning. It just pisses me off.

Anyway, coming back to the numbers of the passport office. I got 5 (Wooohooooo!!). "I've got them now", I thought to myself and furiously punched the first number on my landline.
What followed was something I like to call " THE Tringg Tringg, No response Phenomenon". To put it simply, NOONE BLOODY ANSWERED. I tried the other numbers, same thing, over and over again for every number I dialled. Finally, someone picked up. I was so overjoyed on hearing the euphoric "hello" , I couldn't utter anything for the first few seconds. Eventually I managed to put forth my question.

"For Tatkaal passports, what documents are supposed to be submitted?".

The ass on the other end of the line said , "Please call the enquiry counter.." and he hung up. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. It took me 25 minutes to get through to one number and he hung up in 20 seconds. I couldn't take it so I called the same number again and again and again. I got through again, a different guy this time. I changed my question this time around and asked

Me : "Can I have the number of the enquiry counter?".

Stranger in passport office : "The enquiry counter doesn't have a phone. You'll have to come here".

............. and he hung up again.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!, I couldn't win , I just could not bloody win. It drove me insane and I decided to visit the passport office with my queries the next day. But there was one slight problem. I didn't know whether the timings for the enquiry counter were the same as that of main office. Again I called them up and found out that the enquiry counter was open till 4pm. I thanked my stars and prepared a list of questions that I had to ask.

Next day, I got off at AIIMS and for some strange reason I thought that Bhikaji Gama(Cama :S ) place was right around the corner. So I walked..... By the time I got there I had my new jacket on my arm, the top two buttons of my shirt were open and I was sweating like a pig. Apparently, Bhikaji Cama (Gama) place wasn't exactly around the corner.

I found the passport office which is at the extreme end of the complex, behind Hyatt. I took a wrong turn so I had to walk all around the complex to get there but I think there is a left from the ring road that goes right to it. I spotted the entrance and stood in line. There was huge guard blocking the gate with his arm and he wasn't looking to happy. He seemed to do the OPPOSITE of what he was SUPPOSED to do. Instead of allowing people to go in, he was stopping everyone he could. But honestly, I was impressed by the kind of protocol that the security followed. Noone was allowed in without a proper authority letter or a valid ID proof. I happened to catch the name of the company on the logo of his uniform. It said "Fireball". They were good!.. Well, my turn came and I told the guard I had to visit the enquiry counter. He gave me one of those weird stares which seemed to question my existence. I had to repeat my statement to get a response out of him.

The enquiry counter was behind the main office building. I'd just wasted 15 minutes of time standing in the wrong queue.... This was just not my day. But eventually I did get to the right queue and the right counter. Things were looking up, I was happy :) . The man on the other side of the counter asked me what I wanted to know. I handed him my brothers old passport and fired away a few questions. To each question I asked he had the same answer, "The new form is 10 Rs, take it and fill it". I tried hard to make him understand that I had already gone through the information on the website and it clearly mentioned I needed FORM # 2 for passport renewal. "The new form, Form #1 is Rs 10. The information on the website is incorrect", he said.
I thanked him for telling me the correct form number and told him that I had a printed copy of the form already. The only thing I wanted now was a list of the documents that had to be submitted with the form. But, he refused to divulge that information. I tried explaining to him that I had come all the way from Gurgaon just because they didn't have a phone at the counter but my explanation fell on deaf ears. He said that I should buy the form (that I already had printed at home) and there was a list of documents behind it. I told him to just tell them to me but he refused. His exact words were , "Aap form le lijiye, uske picche likha ha". "Toh aap nahin batayenge , agar mein form nahin lunga?", I asked. He replied "Nahin!!, aap internet se hi dekh lijiye.. Wahan likha hai sab kuch saaf saaf". He was contradicting himself and I couldn't bear to look at him anymore, so I moved out of line, cursing him as I went down the steps.

I stood in the same line 3 more times till he finally agreed to give in and told me what I needed to know. It turns out that my feeling about the information on the website was correct. One just cannot trust these government offices. I have never been able to get my work done in 1 day. It's always something or the other that I need to come back for. Incomplete documents, unmentioned attachments, always something.

But on the brighter side, at least they have a website. They even have an online registration where you can fill in the form online and then take a print. The income tax department is better in this regard. Their online system seems flawless. I applied for a PAN card online, paid a Rs 60/- fee by the credit card and the pan card was at my house within 2 weeks. It was the simplest thing I ever did. But then again, the PAN card gets moolah in for the government.

It's a shame that we don't trust our own government, but we just criticize the system don't we? Who will make a change? I develop websites for a living but would I make one for the passport department ? I don't think so, I'd rather post a new blog entry and ridicule the exisiting one...

But that's just my life!!!

Chandni Chowk to Gurgaon

I am a foodie... I love to eat, I love the way food looks, I love the way food cooks, I love to watch cooking shows on tv (whenever I watch TV - very rare) and I love to cook too. People who know me would agree that I have a never ending hunger for hunger. Well my romance with food takes me places. I want to travel the world but my sole motive is to experience diverse cusines. Unfortunately, being vegetarian for almost 2 years wouldn't help.

Since the world is out of reach right now, I make do with Chandni Chowk :) . Chandni Chowk is situated in the old delhi. The simplest way to get there is to catch the Delhi metro from anywhere to "Rajiv Chowk" (C.P). From Rajiv Chowk , change trains and board the one going to Kashmere Gate. I'm not sure but I think it's the 4th station on that route. Anyway, once you're there take the "Chandni Chowk" exit , NOT the Townhall. Almost instantly your nostrils would be taken by shock. The unlimited urinals ( some structured, others created by whim) fill the air with a unique essence that you're not really searching for. Once you regain consciousness, you need to find a way to get to "Fatehpuri".

Now Chandi Chowk , is not 1 chowk as you might think of it to be. It's really a collection of these small sectional market areas (each famous for it's own product) . The markets are clustered together within narrow streets and lanes which gives an overall illusion of it being one really big huge market. Some names that I've heard of "Khari Bawri" , famous for dry fruits I think (might be wrong), "FatehPuri" , my usual adda etc etc.

To get to FatehPuri , you'll probable take a rickshaw ride (if they're still there, they come and go as they please even after a ban!!!). The other option is to take the shuttle bus service which is quite comfortable. Regardless of your mode of transport, you would be dropped a little away from your destination. "Giani Di Hatti". Ask around, walk a few steps and you'd be there before you know it.

The huge red sign board adorned with a goldenish yellow font is not really what you'd call "Creativity" , but considering that the place has been around since before partition, I guess you'd let it pass.

The next visual you'll probably see is of people holding a HUGE glass and attacking its contents with a stainless steel spoon. Welcome to the land of the most amazing Rabri Falooda in delhi.
For a small price Rs. 35 / glass, your taste buds have an orgasmic experience like never before. The ordering procedure is as follows.

The counter is on the right side of the shop. On the left a man sits cross legged behind a huge steel container of Rabri (Basically Full Cream Milk, cooked with sugar till it becomes really thick). He takes a big glass, adds faluda to it (white noodles) and then puts one big helping of the creamy rabri on top. In front of him (on the outside of the shop) stands another employee whose work is to add sugar syrup (i think that's what it is) and mix the contents of the glass before handing it over to you. The first spoonful that goes into your mouth says it all....

Giani ki hatti is divided into 2 parts. One is the part that sells Rabri and Milk Shakes (also pretty good) and the other part sells Gajar Ka Amazing halwa. For people who love Gajrella (Gajar ka halwa in punjabi) , you cannot MISS this. I think it's around 25 Rs per plate, but its absolutely worth it. It's got the right amount of sweetness, its cooked in desi ghee and you don't have to search to find the dry fruits. This part of the Gianni di Hatti also sells other stuff which I haven't really tasted.

Now we move onto the dhabha which is adjacent to Giani. On one of my visits , I got the chance to meet the owner. This person (educated) , speaks fluent english, stays opposite the dhabha on the first floor. Now if you've never been to Chandni Chowk or old delhi , you wouldn't be able to visualize the construction of these houses, so you need to pay the dhaba a visit to understand why it's so shocking. Anyway, the owner says his great grandfather started the dhabha and it's been around for over 100 odd years. This place sells the BEST parantha's ive had. They're priced between Rs 22 - Rs 35 and they're HUGE. The parantha's are so big a person with an average diet (not me) cannot finish one alone. [I can, Wooot!] . I wonder why these are called parantha's (they're actually stuffed naan's) , but I really don't care.

The entrance of the dhabha is decorated with a tandoor , two to three humongous cooking pots and a few workers constantly stirring the curries being cooked. One would also notice, the mounds of parantha mixtures, standing (uncovered, yes uncovered) on top of a rack. This is what goes into ur parantha's and for the people who got disgusted with the "uncovered" part of it, well that's what makes em delicious!!!! . Once you move into the dhabha, you see rows of tables lines up together and these small green stools. The tables almost always have a plate full of cut salad (uncovered - I don't eat this ever) , a squeezy bottle of green chutney ( I eat this always!!) , a pile of green chillies and pickle!!.

Once you rest your rear comfortably on one of the stools, a scrawnny looking waiter comes up to you holding a dirty rag in his hand rattles off a long list of paranthas. Gobi, Mattar, Alu, Pyaaz, Methi , Pudina, Paneer, Butter, Palak , Dhaniya ...... Once you choose your parantha, the plates are laid (cleaned with the same cloth the waiter's holding). If you're feeling super enthusiastic you can try ordering one of the new paranthas (like methi - not to good), but I strongly recommend ordering Aloo Pyaaz or Paneer for the first visit. You can also order the usual daal fry or makhni daal or shahi paneer (not too good). The paranthas come stacked on small plate and the first time you see the plate, you feel , Wow!! big paranthas, only to realize that there's one plate each for the paranthas you ordered. Yes! one parantha is so huge, it needs to be cut into pieces (1 piece equivalent to 1 normal naan) and stacked on top of each other. The parantha experience is incomplete without butter (Rs 6 per cube) , and meethi lassi (available at a shop to the left of giani) . The lassi is served in a Kullahr (an earthen glass) and is topped with actual Malai. It's the most amazing lassi ever. The dhabha doesn't mind you getting the lassi from another shop (it's not like those snooty restaurants). Once you have your lassi, ur paranthas, green chatni , pyaaz if u want (ask for fresh cut) , hari mirchi , butter cube, you're all set to dig in. It's one hell of an experience you won't forget.

Some Fun Facts about The Parantha place
----------------------------------------------

1. The first time I visited the place , I ordered 2 paranthas (because I had already had parantha's at the famous Paranthey wali gaali in Chandni Chowk (more abt that in the next post) and I had assumed that the parantha would be of an average size. The owner came up and said "I don't think you've ever had our paranthas, please order one!!!".

2. Once I packed the paranthas and brought them home. It was winters. From Chandni Chowk to Gurgaon the parantha's remained warm (and i kid you not). When I ate them for dinner they were still soft.

3. They also serve Laukki ka raita (BottleGourd raita). It's nice although not too uncommon as I thought it would be.

4. From Gurgaon - you can reach parantha place in under Rs 50. [if u take a metro from dwarka].

5. Meal for one (approx Rs 40)


Some Notes about Gianni Di Hatti
---------------------------------------------

1. He has an employee whose work is JUST TO MIX THE CONTENTS OF THE GLASS.

2. Rabri is best had as dessert after the parantha place. (so make sure you don't stuff yourself)

3. Make sure rabri is had without the ICE that they mix in the glass (You can tell them not to put ice). Ice dilutes the rabri and the real fun is to eat it thick and creamy.



Phewww!! I'm hungry now.......

Do visit Chandni Chowk and then post your comments. More about it in the next post.

Cheers!!

Sameer